At The Darkside
Given the Harvey Weinstein scandal and decades-long stories of drugs, megalomania, and even death, as with the recent “Rust” production, it’s no secret the film, television, and video business has its dark side. It’s that place beyond the glitz and glamor festering in the shadows.
The amount of money to be made is certainly a factor, but as Bernstein says in “Citizen Kane,”
“There are easier ways to make money if all you care about is making money.” There’s something more that leads a person to the industry and keeps them there.
My love of storytelling led me to want to work in the industry. Growing up with little to no money, stories are what took me places I could never go meeting people I would never meet. Up there on the screens of the movies or on a small screen emanating from a box, those were my tickets. Why wouldn’t I want a place in that world? Escape has been my friend for years.
And it’s a challenging world. You fight a war at 24 frames per second and digital byte as a crew member. The tasks asked of you could seem impossible, and the mission is to charge up amidst a barrage of obstacles to tell a story and survive the day.
The love of story drove me to that sometimes impossible world, and the money was quite good. But as stated earlier, there had to be more. After all, the saying goes, “the show must go on.”
What isn’t talked about is that once a job ends, it’s over. You’re off to another project, hopefully. And that situation can be nerve-wracking if the next one doesn’t appear over the horizon. In a sense, you live a life with closing credits at every turn.
So why put yourself through this? What can be more terrifying than an uncertain future, a business balanced with chaos at times, and hours as long as Interstate 10?
For the answers to those questions and more, it’s the friendships and relationships you make along the way. Remember, each TV, film, and video production is a battle. You are part of a unique team that does the impossible. You make dreams a reality. You give dreams their places in existence. And facing those types of dire situations depends on the people you work with because you lose the battle without them.
That comradery forges deep friendships and meaningful relationships. That is why networking and knowing people are so crucial in this business.
In the entertainment industry, you see and hear that this person got that job because they are friends or a family member. Of course, that is the case. Who else can you trust more to have your back? The work is too important, the tasks too impossible to worry about whether or not you can depend on that other crew member to do their job and do it well.
In that instance, you become a family, and the goal of having a family is staying together because you know you can rely on them for you and the purposes of the project.
What keeps me wanting to reenter such a problematic and elementally dark place at times? It’s the people. Crew members for entertainment projects forge an unbreakable bond you will find in no other industry. It’s understandable. The pressures of the entertainment world are like no other save for the military, which genuinely is life and death. Failure to do your job well is life and death in the entertainment world. See if you find that next job if your work was in the toilet on the last one.
I miss the family I made and, in turn, the industry. Right now, I am looking at a life of uncertainty. For family reasons, I left the industry for 17 years and am facing starting all over again. I am looking for that greatest of moments, the lucky break. But because of that absence, I am an unknown again, especially when trying to get back on the creative side.
But there is a way out of the dark side. It’s the thought that the sun will rise over that celluloid and digital horizon. There is a reason to anxiously wait to see that sunlight pour into the shadows I live in now and feel its warmth on my face. It’s returning to those crew members I know and love. It’s the people.
