A Moment of Reflection
I’ve always hated mirrors.
I would walk past those people standing in front of a mirror and feel a sense of pity for them. My thinking was that they were not comfortable with who they are. Better yet, maybe they were too comfortable. What an ego, right?
I was better than them. I didn’t need a mirror. I knew I was comfortable with myself. I was so sure of that then, how wrong about that I know now.
There’s a line from one of my favorite movies, 1987’s ANGEL HEART, that has been with me all these years.
“No matter how cleverly you sneak up on a mirror, your reflection always looks you straight in the eye.”
Now, almost thirty-three years later, I realize why that quote is burned into my brain.
I’m the one who should be pitied. I’m one of those idealists who is satisfied in their convictions and am willing to go down in flames fighting for that cause. Trouble is I’ve been wasting my time.
I have sat up at nights angry and depressed watching the news, feeling helpless, and becoming bitter at what I see happening in the country and those who are supposed to be in charge. I want to fix it! I can’t just stand around and do nothing.
But that’s precisely what I have been doing.
If I learned anything about my last job, it was to fix a problem; you have to troubleshoot. And to troubleshoot something is to trace what is being fixed to its very beginning.
In my mind, I am the right tool for the job. But what if that tool is damaged?
I go back to how I felt about mirrors and the quote from ANGEL HEART:
“No matter how cleverly you sneak up on a mirror, your reflection always looks you straight in the eye.”
Maybe, I don’t like mirrors because I can’t stand my reflection. I can’t hide behind a smile, a wardrobe, or words. It’s all there, and there is no way to deny it.
You can’t fix a problem with a tool that is broken. It’s that simple.
If you can’t look in a mirror and like what you see, there’s a problem. You. How will you fix anything? You won’t.
It’s time to troubleshoot. Like myself, you may find that the problem does lie at the source. It’s not an easy fix, but it’s THE beginning, and that is where all issues are identified, and repairing the damage can start.
